


Fred the Martian

by vericus



Series: Sparks Alex/Megatron AU [5]
Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Human-turns-Cybertronian, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:26:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vericus/pseuds/vericus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are many reasons Megatron does what he does, and the opportunity to get laid is usually only a small part of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fred the Martian

**Author's Note:**

> Somewhat porn for cazcatharsis, though there's more snark than anything else. Title is tiamat1972's fault!

Alex woke up curled into a little ball, and groaned as she realized just how stiff she was because of it. Without even opening her eyes, she went to stretch, to get some of the kinks out - only to yelp in surprise as it felt like she punched right through the sides of a cardboard box that she's evidently been sleeping in. Eyes snapped open as she wondered why the hell she was sleeping in a cardboard box - and then she froze. The 'cardboard box' was the small enclosure she had in Optimus's quarters, for her use when Elita wasn't around. And she'd just punched through the reinforced walls like they were paper - because she was now about the size of the pink femme. And, apparently, mechanoid.  
  
Shock gave way to frantic movement as she extracted herself from the enclosure, virtually destroying it in the process, and she stared at the wreckage for several long moments before pushing herself up and making a lunge for the door. She got out into the hallways and was halfway down it before she thought to wonder where she was going.  
  
 _Med bay,_ she decided - and yet she found herself heading straight across the road to the Decepticon's quarters, where she dashed along to the end of the hall, to a room similar to Optimus's, with an occupant that had once been his counterpart. She ran into the door with a mild clang, confused for a moment as to why it hadn't opened when she'd hit the pad, since she had permission to enter, before realizing that it probably didn't recognize her as a mechanoid. Fortunately, it seemed Megatron was awake and had heard her run into the door. The door opened, and she found herself falling onto the mech on the other side, who caught her more out of reflex than anything else.  
  
"Who -" the former Decepticon leader started to ask irritably, only to be cut off by Alex.  
  
"It'smeAlex," she got out in a rush, unsure if her voice would work properly until she actually spoke. Megatron's optics widened, and he pulled her all the way into his room before palming shut the door. In private, her grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back, looking her over intently as she stood there staring at him with wide optics. She was pretty sure she was shivering, too, though she was too busy freaking out to know for sure.  
  
"How?" Megatron demanded, his voice hard.  
  
"I have no idea, I woke up like this," Alex said, her voice a squeak.  
  
"Woke up? When?" Megatron asked sharply.  
  
"Just now. I wrecked my little spot in Optimus's quarters, and he's not here, and I was going to go to med bay but then I went here and -" Warnings popped up in Alex's field of view, and she let out a strangled screech before realizing that they were simply telling her that her systems were overheating. "And apparently now I'm overheating!" she squeaked.  
  
"That's because you're panicking as a human does," Megatron replied curtly. "Stop stressing your systems and relax."  
  
 _"You try relaxing after you've just spontaneously changed species!"_ Alex said shrilly, and Megatron growled irritably, stepping over and lifting her up - which only freaked her out more - before taking her over to the couch in the room and dumping her on it. The shock of landing - being actually a little painful - broke through her hysteria, and she realized that there was wisdom in relaxing. So she closed her eyes - no, turned off her optics - and took several deep breaths - cycled air? Whatever she did, it had the desired effect, and when she onlined her optics again, she was able to sit up calmly on the couch and look at Megatron, who had taken a seat on the coffee table directly in front of her.  
  
"Better?"  
  
"Thank you, yes," Alex replied politely.  
  
"Good," Megatron said with a snort. "I absolutely despise hysterical femmes."  
  
"In my defense, I think this may be one of the few truly justified reasons for being hysterical."  
  
"There is no such thing," Megatron replied, arching an optic ridge. "Want to tell me what happened now? Calmly?"  
  
"You've pretty much heard all of it," Alex said. "I woke up, stretched, and punched through the walls of my room. Then I looked down and realized I was mechanoid, started freaking out, came here, continued freaking out, got dropped onto couch, stopped freaking out."  
  
"Anything different happen last night?"  
  
"Nope. Didn't even have any dreams."  
  
"No messages?" Megatron asked curiously.  
  
"No, but..." Alex trailed off, as something twigged at the back of her mind. She continued more slowly, as realization sunk in. _"'Through the humans, the children of Cybertron will live again,"_ she quoted, now able to pronounce the words the way they'd been intended. Megatron looked at her blankly, and she remembered that he'd still been dead at the time she'd originally spoken those words. "The Allspark. I'm going to fragging _destroy it,"_ she snarled.  
  
"You think the Allspark did this?" Megatron asked with a frown.  
  
"It makes sense!" she said, jumping up and beginning to pace. "It was going on about how Earth had become a giant Allspark, and that we humans were the key to accessing its power. It never clarified how though."  
  
"You think its plan for our race is to transform humans into new Cybertronians?" Megatron scoffed.  
  
"No, not really - I mean, yes, partly, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. The Allspark is sneaky and manipulative - none of its plans are ever straight forward," Alex said, half distracted as she tried to think. "Frag, who knows, maybe I'm not even wholely Cybertronian, but some organic-mechanoid cross." She shuddered at that thought, and wasn't surprised when she looked up to see a somewhat disgusted look on Megatron's face, too. "Can you tell? If I'm wholly Cybertronian, I mean?" She sat down in front of him, giving him an intent look. Megatron frowned at her, and then a warning popped up in front of her optics, saying that she was being scanned. She did her best not to jump at it, though having a HUD was going to take some getting used to.  
  
"You read as Cybertronian. No organic pieces," Megatron told her after a moment.  
  
"Huh. What about a spark?" Alex wondered, glancing down at her chest.  
  
"I'm not sure," the mech said after a moment, and Alex looked up at him with a frown.  
  
"What do you mean, you're not sure?" she asked. "Optimus told me you guys identify based more on spark signature than physical appearance."  
  
"Well, yes, that's with sparks we've met before. I'm getting something that could very well be a spark signature off you, but I have no idea if it's actually a spark, or just a signature put out by some type of simulating device. There were a few scientists before the war that could mimic one nearly perfectly - I have no doubt the Allpsark could do better."  
  
"Oh," Alex said, thinking over that, then looked down at her chest again, and wondered, half-seriously, if Megatron would check physically for her. She knew that exposing your spark was meant to be a private, intimate thing, but - she'd answered positive to the query about opening her chest plates before she realized it, and yelped as her chest plates opened. Megatron made a strangled sound and turned away as she covered her chest, and then her chest plates were sliding closed again as an embarrassed silence fell over the two of them.  
  
"Well you have a spark," the former Decepticon leader said, sounding strained.  
  
"Not exactly how I wanted to find out," Alex muttered, embarrassed.  
  
"Yes, Optimus probably _would_ have been a better choice to have a look," Megatron said, turning back to look at her again, his voice more steady this time.  
  
"Optimus?" Alex made a face. "Yeah, it would have been Ratchet or you. That felt a bit like flashing you, and that would be so many types of wrong with Optimus." Megatron smirked.  
  
"Ratchet, then," he said. "And speaking of the medic, you should probably alert him to your...condition."  
  
"Right...yeah, I should do that," Alex said, taking a deep breath, looking down at herself again. She felt panic creep in again as she remembered just how far the med bay was, and even though she could move so much faster now, the chances of getting spotted were high, and - she was abruptly distracted as she found herself hauled into the lap of someone larger than her.  
  
"After you stop panicking," Megatron said authoritatively, his arms wrapping around her to pull her close, and Alex stiffened in surprise for a moment before melting into the hug. It wasn't often the former Decepticon offered any sort of physical contact, and she rather needed it at the moment, so she wasn't going to complain.  
  
"Yeah, after that," she agreed, feeling more of her tension bleed away.  
  
"And after you tell me why this is bothering you so much," Megatron drawled, and the tension was back as Alex tried to pull away. His arms held her in an iron grip, though, and she couldn't go much further than an inch or two away.  
  
"Let me go," she said testily.  
  
"No."  
  
Alex snarled, and made a fist to punch him, before she remembered that Megatron's you-shall-do-no-harm defense worked both ways. All the other Cybertronians could fight physically, so long as it didn't threaten the involved lives, but Megatron couldn't even throw a punch without being knocked out. It was some small consolation that anyone that tried to hurt _him_ got similar treatment.  
  
"It doesn't bother me. I'm just in shock," Alex said mulishly.  
  
"What's that phrase you humans have?" Megatron mused. "Ah yes - _bullshit."_  
  
"I hate you," Alex said vehemently.  
  
"Which is why you came to me first instead of going to Ratchet," Megatron snarked. "Stop avoiding the topic."  
  
"Why do you even want to know?" Alex demanded.  
  
"Because I'm bored and with Optimus out of the Valley you're my only entertainment. Because you'll keep trying to crash yourself until you deal with whatever this is, and probably won't even make it to med bay on your own. Because you've managed to worm your disgusting organic self into a small part of my spark. Pick one," Megatron said tauntingly. Alex sulked.  
  
"I should just punch you, and then you'll have to take me to Ratchet."  
  
"You think that after leading the Decepticons for so long that I don't know how to reboot a processor? You'll wake up in exactly the same spot."  
  
Alex snarled again, and smacked a hand against Megatron's chest - lightly, so as to not set off the Allspark's protections. She sulked for a few more minutes, but Megatron didn't seem inclined to give in, and she sighed, turning off her optics and leaning against the mech that held her.  
  
"I've done this before," she confessed. "Not this specifically, but when the Allspark took over my body...it was like it wasn't mine anymore. I was there, but it wasn't my body. I fell asleep after a very short time, so I didn't remember too much of it, but afterward...I saw the videos of myself doing things, things I didn't remember. It was...awful. I felt used. I saw a few of the army counselors about it, though I never told Optimus. I thought I worked through most of it, but I guess this is just...bringing it back."  
  
"You expect to lose control of this body?" Megatron asked.  
  
"I guess. Or it's like I'm taking control of somebody else's body, doing to them what was done to me."  
  
"Hmm," Megatron murmured, but said nothing, and it took Alex a moment to realize that one of his hands had made its way under some of her armor and was responsible for the really nice feeling in her thigh. She slapped it away indignantly.  
  
"Your response to my heart-felt confession is to _grope_ me?!"  
  
"I can tell you definitively that neither your body nor your spark registers on my scanners as having ever belonged to anyone else," the Decepticon drawled. "And whether or not that reassures you, it seems to me that the main issue here is that you feel like this isn't _your_ body. And the best way to fix that would be to make you feel like it is, and interfacing is a good way to do that. Or at least a quick way." Alex frowned.  
  
"You were really good at talking femmes into your berth back in the day, weren't you?" she asked suspiciously. That reasoning sounded a bit too skilled.  
  
"Extremely," Megatron replied with a smirk.  
  
"And you're deciding to exercise this skill on me now...why?"  
  
"I just told you," he drawled.  
  
"Bullshit," Alex countered.  
  
"Hardly," Megatron said irritably. "I will admit that it's not the entire reason, but it is the main one."  
  
"Uh-huh, and what are the other reasons?"  
  
"Do I really need to explain wanting to frag after a femme lands herself in my lap?"  
  
Alex tilted her head to one side, considered. "No, I guess not."  
  
"Good," Megatron said definitively, leaning forward and nipping at some cabling on Alex's neck. She squeaked in surprise, then forced herself to relax as the former Decepticon leader's hands started exploring. He moved with a certain intent, his hands seeking out specific spots to caress, and depending on her reaction, either spent some time caressing them, or moved on to the next. It was almost...methodical, and Alex found herself a little irritated at that, so she decided to return the favour. The fragger made a noise of approval and kept exploring, both with his hands, and nipping along her shoulders and neck.  
  
It took her a few moments to realize that Megatron had been right about this working - everything had felt surreal before, as she'd go to move something and a limb that didn't register as hers would respond. But with him touching her, and her touching him, there was a constant stimulus that reminded her that yes, this body was hers, these limbs were hers. And fuck if all of it wasn't feeling really good, too. She found herself pressing closer to him, and then abruptly pushed back. Megatron gave her a curious look, but she simply changed her position, so that instead of sitting sideways in his lap, she was straddling him. He made a noise of approval, and then caught her chin in one hand, pulling her in for a kiss that was more a crackle of energy fields than any actual physical interaction between lip components. It sent shivers down her body, and she moaned a little into the kiss.  
  
"God, that feels good," she groaned as the kiss broke, and Megatron smirked.  
  
"Your form of kissing is inferior, I take it?"  
  
"You have no idea. If human kissing felt like that, I'm not sure we'd exist as a species, because that would be _all_ we'd do," Alex said, were voice slightly wobbly as she let her forehead rest on Megatron's shoulder.  
  
"Then you're really going to enjoy the rest of this," Megatron purred in her ear - _audio._ His hands were still moving, but only lazily, and then suddenly it was like he charged himself, and everywhere he touched a little spark transferred to her, making everything feel ten times stronger. Alex gasped, arching against him, and as her front pressed against his, it was like fireworks of sensation. And then there were sparks even where he wasn't touching, and Alex realized that the air around them was charged and sparking against them, and somehow she'd become charged as well, so she could return the favour. It was...incredible, and all over, and she could feel every single inch of her new body. It was the most alive she'd ever felt.  
  
"Ready for more?" Megatron asked in a growl several octaves lower than his normal voice. If she'd been human, Alex suspected that tone would have given her goosebumps, and apparently as a Cybertronian that corresponded to her armor spontaneously sparking off against his.  
  
"There's more?" she whimpered, not sure if her human mind could take it. She felt a touch down by her midsection, standing out because it wasn't charged and sparking, and she gasped at how the lack of sensation stood out and felt almost better than the presence of it.  
  
"You know there is. You've felt it before," Megatron growled again, and Alex shuddered, her mind too far gone to figure out what the hell he meant. All she could do was give wordless consent by arching into his touch, and then something connected and _she remembered this._ She'd been human before, but she'd felt this before when she'd touched his spark - this sensation of him as her and her as him, reflecting back to each other, feeding on each other's pleasure. This time there was an added portion though, as Megatron somehow used the connection to ping phantom sensations off her armor, making it seem like he had five hands and half a dozen mouths and dear god above it was pure ecstasy.  
  
She felt the overload rising in him first, as her apparent lack of control affected him strongly. Then she realized that he was just responding to the overload in her, which she just hadn't recognized. Power surged through her, starting at her extremities and racing inwards, heightening her sense of everything to full, and for a moment it was like she could see and feel and hear every part of herself and Megatron. It was a total, blissful awareness, and she soaked it in. Then her processor reminded her that she couldn't handle that much data, and dumped it, the rush leaving her so suddenly that she couldn't keep up, and she felt herself sink into blankness.  
  
\---  
  
Alex woke slowly, aware that she was far more comfortable than she'd been in a long time, and that this was largely due to the pair of arms wrapped around her, as well as the warm body she was laying on. As she slowly activated her optics, giving the sideways view of the room time to come into focus, she idly wondered what time it was - only to flinch as a clock appeared in sharp detail in front of her optics, informing her it was an hour after she'd first woken up. The arms around her tightened, accompanied by a quiet chuckle.  
  
"Shut up," Alex muttered irritably. "HUDs are startling if you're not used to them."  
  
"What did you query?" Megatron asked as Alex looked up at him, even more irritated to find him smirking smugly down at her.  
  
"The time," she replied snippily. "Not that it's any of your business."  
  
"Relax," Megatron said soothingly, though the smirk didn't quite leave. "I'm not making fun of you. Not yet. Not after that."  
  
"Yeah, that was..." Alex trailed off, her snarky response lost. "Is it normally like that for you guys?" Megatron 'hmm'ed thoughtfully.  
  
"That was particularly good, but it can easily get better," he said.  
  
"How?!" Alex said incredulously. "That was...dear god, I don't know how you guys do anything else." Megatron smirked.  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment." She smacked him. "Perhaps I've grown accustomed to it or perhaps it just felt stronger to you because it was your first time. Either way, I can assure you that it's not all that difficult to find other things to do, just as it's not hard for you humans."  
  
"I'm not sure you can say 'you humans' in reference to me anymore," Alex said with a grimace.  
  
"Perhaps not. We'd best get you to Ratchet to find out for sure," Megatron pointed out.  
  
"Right, Ratchet." Alex groaned. "I'm fully under his medical supervision now, aren't I?"  
  
"Yes," Megatron said, grinning widely.  
  
"Crap," Alex muttered, then pushed herself up and off her incredibly comfy mattress, staggering only slightly as she got herself vertical. Megatron smirked as he smoothly rose from the couch, then headed for the door.  
  
"I assume you're feeling better about your body being yours, now?" he asked as she followed him out.  
  
"Yeah, I suppose," Alex said. "Truthfully I hadn't even thought about it until you mentioned it just now, so that's probably a good sign."  
  
"Most likely," Megatron replied as they left the Decepticon quarters and headed out onto the main boulevard, turning right towards the med bay. There were a few people out and about, mostly humans, and they didn't give the pair of them a second look. They passed a few Autobots as they neared the med bay, all off whom stopped and stared, confusion on their faceplates.  
  
"You register as neutral," Megatron told Alex as she frowned back at the 'Bots. "Most of them haven't seen a neutral in vorns."  
  
"Yeah well, they haven't ever seen one of me, technically," Alex grumbled.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with being unique," Megatron declared as they reached the med bay and the door opened. He stopped and motioned for her to go first, eyeing the inside almost warily, and Alex chuckled.  
  
"Unless you're unique and under Ratchet's care?"  
  
"I was more thinking of Wheeljack," the former Decepticon said with a grimace - Wheeljack had helped Ratchet back when they'd been trying to figure out why Megatron couldn't leave the valley. There had been a few explosions that Megatron had gotten caught in as a result. Alex chuckled again as she headed inside, her optics immediately searching for Ratchet. The medic was nowhere to be seen initially, but as Megatron followed her inside and the door close, Ratchet stepped out of the room he used as an office, his optics catching on her almost distractedly at first, before he frowned, his attention focusing on her.  
  
"A new arrival?" he asked, seeming doubtful even as he said it.  
  
"Hardly," Megatron drawled, giving Alex a shove forwards. She glared back at him, then turned a bright smile to Ratchet.  
  
"So, funny story Ratchet. I woke up Cybertronian this morning." Ratchet stared.  
  
"Alex?!" he asked incredulously after a few moments, and Alex beamed back at him.  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"How the frag..." he sounded dazed as he walked over to and around her, running his gaze up and down even as he performed plenty of scans.  
  
"I'm thinking the Allspark. We still haven't figured out what it meant about humans being the key to accessing its power, after all," Alex replied.  
  
"Hmm, true. Hop up on a berth, I'll give you a full check up," Ratchet said, motioning to one of the nearby berths. Alex did so, glancing back just in time to see Megatron slipping out. Reaching out over the communications network, Alex was glad to see that it was still there - and, as she'd hoped, there were extra options in it that she could sense. She followed one to the connection she wanted, not quite sure how she knew it was the one she wanted and deciding to blame the Allspark for that, too. Then, as she lay down, she sent an accusation Megatron's way. _"Deserter!"_  
  
 _"It's called an informed retreat,"_ the former Decepticon leader said with dignity, then cut the connection. Alex snickered as Ratchet set about scanning her.  
  
\---  
  
Optimus was back three days later, which meant there had been plenty of time to inform him of what had happened. He didn't seem to believe it, however, until Alex walked over and started talking to him, and then he could only stare for a few moments before grinning widely and sweeping her up in a hug.  
  
"Um, you can let me go now," Alex said as the hug stretched on.  
  
"Mute it let me enjoy being able to hug you without squishing you," Optimus retorted, and Alex giggled. Later, in the evening, as they sat in their usual star-gazing spot right outside the Allspark Valley, he decided to get all broody and ask her if she'd actually wanted this, of course.  
  
"You know, I kinda do. I mean, I didn't want it before, but that was mostly because I didn't think of it. So I guess it was mostly the idea not occurring to me than me not wanting it," Alex mused.  
  
"What if you had thought of it?" Optimus asked.  
  
"Any supposition I could make now would be tainted," Alex replied truthfully. "But I think if I'd thought of it before, and had thought it was possible, I would've liked the idea. Maybe not for a few more years, though - not quite sure I'm done being human yet. But I doubt the timing was arbitrary - there's probably a reason the Allspark chose now to change me."  
  
"I suppose. I just wish..." Optimus trailed off, then growled irritably. "Fraggit, I wish it would stop messing with your life without asking you."  
  
"Oh my, curse words on my behalf from Optimus Prime!" Alex said teasingly. "I'm flattered!" Optimus gave her an irritated look, and reached over to cuff her upside the head. Alex snickered, then shuffled over, arranging herself so she was leaning against Optimus as she looked up at the stars. "I wish it would ask, too." They sat in silence late into the night, enjoying each other's silent company, something that they knew would never change between them.  
  
 **\- END -**


End file.
